Why do this to Zanjeer?

Zanjeer

Starring: Ram Charan, Priyanka Chopra, Sanjay Dutt, Atul Kulkarni, Mahie Gill & Prakash Raj

Rated: 3/10

As heartbreaks go, this one is pretty singular. As outrages go, you can call it second only to what Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag did to Sholay. As remakes go, there can’t, or should I say shouldn’t, be any more such ones. That said, one will have to laud director Apoorva Lakhia’s courage in propelling something so far removed from the gravitas of the original that the final product falls into the realm of the ridiculous. Even bigger applause should go to Ram Charan’s misplaced bravado in trying to do an Amitabh Bachchan, that too for a film which had stamped the arrival of the legendary angry young man into Bollywood all those years ago.

The crime that Lakhia has committed in remaking such an iconic film is that he has done it in the most cavalier way. The script sucks, the story is thrown at you with gaping jerks, the presentation is staccato, the sequences unconnected and his so-called stars all so mismatched that you cringe much too often for comfort.

If you are an Amitabh Bachchan fan or follower, you’ve had it. If you are not, you wonder why this film has been made any which ways. The production quality may be okay but there’s nothing else to hold this needless action caper erroneously imitated from a film that had forever changed the way Bollywood made cinema.

Actually, there is nothing one can say in Lakhia’s defence. The characters, all picked up from the original version, have been needlessly caricaturised. They make you angry, they make you wonder whether remakes are really feasible and they tell you why you should steer clear of them, Agneepath 2 notwithstanding.

Let’s start with Ram Charan as Vijay. He may be a superstar down south but as the Vijay of Bollywood, he is as flat as fizzless cola. Far from sporting the simmering anger that Amitabh Bachchan swept the nation away with, he fails to even justify his presence in the film. While Amitabh as Vijay was an inferno of emotions, all so muted and delectably under-hued, Ram flits from anger to playfulness without motto or motive. Add to that a mumble jumble of sequences and dialogues randomly picked up from the original to be interspersed in out of nowhere action sequences. He can neither simmer, nor romance nor kick up some badass anger at anything, not even at a film which will definitely dent his superstardom and end his Bollywood dreams.

Then there is Priyanka Chopra as the equally iconic Mala, played to perfection by Jaya Bhaduri in that good old film. Far from the simple poise that Jaya brought to the role of Vijay’s love interest, Priyanka flaunts her stardom to take away from the relationship by acting like a coquettish bimbette with pappaissues. She does an item number and she bounces around the film without much to do other than make you shake your head in disgust.

Then there is Sanjay Dutt doing a Sher Khan. Another blooper! He is no patch on Pran, nowhere near to even giving you a whiff of the magic Pran wove as Vijay’s large-hearted Pathani friend. Dutt sleepwalks through this one, adding neither nuance nor newness to this vital character.

And if there was anything more left to damage your fond memories of a much loved film, there is Prakash Raj lampooning Ajit’s unforgettable swagger as the deadly Teja. Unforgivable, misplaced and absurd, he is one of the biggest misfits in this film. Even Bindu will not forgive Lakhia for showing up her favourite character as a slutty, libidinous moll with no personality or oeuvre. Bindu as Mona darling was a trendsetter, an actress who redefined vamps. Mahie Gill in the same role is nothing more than a nympho frustrated at her boss’ sexual non-performance. The sexual innuendos (Mona darling tum ek hi cheez ke liye apna muh khola karo, says Teja as she dangles a Viagra packet in front of him) around this very crucial pair make you wonder why a Kaizad Gustav had gotten into Lakhia, that too when it was least required.

Not just the characters but also the sequences are staccato, disjointed and unbelievably bizarre. The songs can’t be remembered for more than the next second and the Raghupati Raghav Raja Ram bhajan is, hold your breath, mounted on the most violent of scenes!

Remember, all the actors in Lakhia’s film are top-rated. So, the onus lies entirely on him for making them look so ridiculous in a film that was meant to be a tribute to a father from a son but turns out to be a complete miscarriage. Prakash Mehra would not have liked this to happen to his from-the-heart venture. And one is sure Amitabh will be too stunned to even tweet his outrage. Zanjeer was special, very special. Its memories should not have been tampered with, definitely not with such casualness. 

Source: Sunday Pioneer, September 8, 2013